How do I burn bacon to perfection?

Question:

How do I burn bacon so that it appears like black crispy charcoal, literally burned to a crisp, but tastes like heavenly perfection?

What do I mean, you ask? Read the backstories below!

Attempts to recreate:

  • Low, Med, and High Heat Each:
    • Letting bacon sit in its own fat pool
    • Draining fat pool right away
    • Covered, Uncovered, Mixture of both
    • Flipping Bacon, Not Flipping Bacon

Mostly used Black Forest Bacon from Trader Joes.

Results

Extremely varied from piece to piece in each "batch". Even the pieces of bacon themselves were unevenly a sliver of a hit and a big miss the rest. Occasionally while cooking, after the crispy stage a piece of bacon would go from being hard, black(burned), and brittle to suddenly folding over like melted plastic.

Backstory #1:

A friend kept telling me that he loved burnt bacon so one morning at his house, I spitefully turned on a burner and slapped a relatively new non-stick pan down and turned up the heat. I pulled out some Black Forest Bacon from Trader Joes and threw 2-3 slices in the pan. Covered it and waited. Flipped the bacon... waited some more. By this time the bacon is swimming in its own fat juices and looks well cooked, just barely crispy. My friend at this point is excited and I pull out a single slice and eat it myself in front of him. Perfectly delicious. He glares at me and expects me to pull his slices out, but I let the bacon continue cooking saying "Yours are almost how you like them, burnt right?".

A few minutes later, I forked two burnt pieces of what appears to be glistening charcoal strips onto a plate and place them in front of my frustrated friend. He looks at it aghast and refuses to eat them. We make a deal that If I try it then he has to try it. I bite into a small corner and the flavor that fills my mouth isn't at all what I anticipated. I start salivating unconsciously and a bit of drool pools at the corner of my lips. In an adventurous spurt of excitement I take a massive bite of the rest of the bacon and the world around me suddenly disappeared. The only thing that existed was the terribly burnt bacon, bacon burned to a crisp, melting across my taste buds. Rivaling even the most delectable of steaks, the euphoria of rendered fat and meat burnt to perfection lasted from a few short seconds to maybe minutes, I don't remember. I see my friend take a bite as well and I can see that he is having the same experience.

We then try recreating the same burned bacon that same day with off and on successes. After that day we could never recreate it except once where once tiny sliver of burnt bacon was perfect... otherwise it was just...bad old regular burned bacon.

Backstory #2:

My brother was out on a campfire night and one of our friend's Dad was roasting some bacon over the fire. The man cooked the bacon to a black crisp. My brother said he looked at it skeptically thinking I don't know if he understands how to cook bacon... He takes a bite and it's hands down the best bacon he has ever had in his life.

submitted by /u/DeScrubb
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