I’m in need of advice. This isn’t the typical recipe question or query about certain food item or tool. It’s entirely professional in nature. I’m unsure if this is even the correct subreddit to submit to, so please feel free to point me in the right way. But I feel rather depressed with where I’m at professionally and am wondering if I’ve just had a bad week or if I need to make a change.
I’m a 30 year old man and I joined the food industry two years ago. I plan to join culinary school this September. It was always a dream of mine to be a chef but I’d only realized that parental expectations wouldn’t make me happy, so here I am.
Two years ago, I joined as a dishwasher at a golf course/banquet hall with the expectation that I would eventually work either in the golf course’s downstairs kitchen (for those who know what a golf course halfway house is, it is that, but also provides bistro foods and typical bar and grill menu items) or the upstairs banquet kitchen.
Over the course of the two years, I went from being a dishwasher to a line cook in the downstairs kitchen. The guy who was training me downstairs quit and I had become the head line cook for a total of three weeks, which was cool but hard. I wasn’t ready. I begged the executive chef of the golf course to hire someone to continue my training. We hired the current head line cook who is a great dude but was didn’t appreciate how looked like I had some experience but still needed training. I understood that so I never complained and grinder for a year under him, doing my best to improve.
After a long conversation with the executive chef, I was asked if I enjoyed working downstairs, to which I said I wasn’t. Thankfully, he moved me upstairs to help with events like weddings, company retreats, and conferences.
For most of the second year I either helped with prep and setting up and breaking down buffets and plated dinners. I was pretty happy doing the former and assumed that the latter was typical for banquet cuisine, which I’m told it is. After the first half of the second year, my boss expressed that he wasn’t interested in really teaching me past the basics and encouraged me to pursue culinary school, which I agree with. Things like learning how to work more efficiently and consistently was something that I needed work on in the past and am still working on. It’s only recently, actually, that I’m able to see some progress in my abilities. I wish I was able to learn quicker, but I guess it’s important to be real about my own weaknesses.
Anyways, here’s where the trouble started. Recently, I’ve moved from a prep cook position upstairs to the golf course’s only pastry chef. How that worked out was that I brought in several desserts over the course of the last two months during family, which were a big hit with all the staff, owners included. I didn’t expect them to like it so much. Then, the executive chef expressed that he wanted me to be in charge of making pastries for banquets, but I needed to learn and hone my skills from that of a home pastry cook to someone who can produce products in larger quantities. This, by itself isn’t the problem, but is some context. I spent the last two months reading every major authority that I could afford, experimenting in my own kitchen, and outfitting part of the upstairs kitchen to be able to accommodate our new pastry station! I spent my days off with a friend who is an ACTUAL pastry chef who has her own online school for the craft, learning from her and absorbing what she kindly had to offer. I spent so much of my money on kitchen appliances and gear that I barely had enough left for recreational time or purchases. But through all of this I found such profound meaning. I was so happy. The executive chef even promised that as long as I kept on grinding and improving that we could work together for a very long time, even past finishing culinary school.
But then our only sous chef quit. Myself and a guy much younger than me (who joined half a year after I did) were expected to share the load to get us through the busy summer season. Some changes were made to my own job: We started sourcing desserts from outside companies to make it easier on me while I essentially support all the other chefs, once again setting up and breaking down buffets and plated dinners by myself. Running food to and from the kitchen. Doing tasks for the other chefs to make their lives easier, such as fetching fresh produce and manufactured products from the fridges and freezers. And this is now maybe 90% of my time spent at work for the past two weeks.
I understand that I needed to help pitch in but I didn’t expect that my previous position was being reduced to plating desserts that other kitchens or factories have made while now being bossed around by literally everyone in the kitchen, even the dishwashers.
I just feel uninspired, unappreciated, and that my admittedly short career of two years were wasted. The executive chef certainly does appreciate me stepping up, but I feel like it is more of a step down.
In the past week, so starting one week after this sudden change, I’ve become more irritable, unapproachable, and unfocused. These, I admit, are totally unbecoming and shameful. So, I decided that I need to make a decision on my future.
Here’s what I can expect: things aren’t expected to change much in June, which appears to be so jam packed full of events that we will likely never have time to make in-house desserts at least until the month ends. There is a work shortage in my area of the world, so there’s a chance that we can hire someone permanent so that I will have the time to make in-house desserts again, but it may take some number of weeks or months to get someone dependable. At the very least, I will eventually transition into part-time work because I enter culinary school this September.
So, what should I do? Should I just wait this period out until I get into culinary school and then apply for a better job once I’m done there? Should I explore my options for a potentially more meaningful job right now? Should I wait until after June or the summer is over to see if anything changes enough to make a decision on leaving or even staying?
If you’ve read this far, then Im thankful for whatever advice you have to share. Today, I had exploded on a dishwasher and had been sulking all day. I don’t want to be this person. I’d appreciate any advice whether it’s an encouragement or telling me that Im just being overly emotional and childish. Again, thank you.
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